I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
