Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
