You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
