Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
