He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
