I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
