careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
