I hate all girls vehemently.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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