i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
