I think I died a long time ago.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
