yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you will always have a special place in my vag
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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