they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
