We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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