no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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