Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
