no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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