i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
