Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
