...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
