Sry I called you an 8
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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