she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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