Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
