Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
