I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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