I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
