It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
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