if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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