my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
