Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
