Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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