Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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