White coat. Heels.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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