My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
