A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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