Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
