How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
