I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
