we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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