I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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