So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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