She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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