I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
