Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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