Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
