You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This girl is more easily done than said...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My ass is underappreciated
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
