I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
