i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
where does the pee come out of this thing
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
