i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
