you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
