They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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